Essay on Parenting

For the last twenty years of my life, I have made a living teaching and telling parents how they should raise their children. I was very well schooled in theory and felt like I had a very logical answer for virtually every problem that arose. Slightly over 18 months ago, that all changed when my daughter was born. While I think I have always known this deep down inside, theory is great, practice is a bit more difficult. This new found philosophy was recently confirmed upon taking my daughter to her pediatrician. She too has recently had her first child, and I asked her how rigidly she was able to adhere to her own and advice, and she grudgingly admitted it was not always so easy to do.

As a young teacher, I would get offended when people told me that I didn't understand certain situations and practices, because I did not have kids. It did not deter me, however, from reiterating the theory I was already espousing, and letting them know that what I had to say was really what was best for their child.

Their is an emotional factor to parenting that can never truly be separated from the decision making process. We all want to do what is best for our child, but we also all know that what your child suffer through a bad decision, hurt themselves as they investigate, or sometimes, just the desire to do things the "easy" way cause us to interfere or make bad decisions, even though we know it is not what is in the child's best interest. Other times, we may be so intent on them learning a lesson that we let the lesson override what we know we should do as a parent. Most of them time, it is hard to decipher what is the right thing to do in any situation.

So while I understand, now more than ever, the reality of being a parent, I also hope that my child has some of those theory-driven teachers who can point out to me what I can do to best help my child. I want the teacher who does not let emotion beat out common sense when it comes to my child's development, and I want the teacher who is not afraid to tell it to me like it truly is. I hope I am the parent who is able to listen with an open mind and truly understand that my child's teacher has her best interest at heart. I hope that I am truly able to comprehend that if I truly want what is best for my daughter, I will try to apply the suggestions of that teacher and work with her teachers to ensure that she succeeds. I hope my mind is not closed when I hear things that are difficult to hear about the child I know is wonderful and then I hope I will do everything I can to help make her an independent, successful child. Lastly, I hope I will be compassionate when my child fails and understand that these failures should be turned into the most valuable learning experiences of her life.

And then, on the way home, I will probably buy her an ice cream before dinner and tell her not to tell her mom.